Awareness

AWARENESS
by Rose Heart

This downward spiral
That goes round and round my soul
I search for hope
I look to Christ’s Role

Hope takes me to
- This Reunion -
With You

The Holy Spirit descends
- Into my form
Embraced by my willingness
- To change
I see the Reality of where
- I am
With eyes that are ready
- To See

Light spoke to me, offering its beam of truth through the Holy Word:
The Truth Shall Set You Free

Darkness spoke to me, commanding its trench of lies through visceral intellect:
You are too damaged to be free

And so the spider of evil memories tries to weave its web of fear and doubt, showing me proof of why I will never be free, seemingly. Memories impression is the full well of ink ready to make its mark into the memory of the child that I was; the child I wished I was; the child that still can be.

As time moved forward, a question would remain with me for so many years -
“How can I be free from spiraling down into the pit of despair?”

I can still hear so clear my mother’s and father’s voices as the memory persists its pattern imprint unto my mind, as I move throughout my day. As I watch myself reacting to life’s lessons with thoughts of angst and dread, I can see how my reactions have nothing to do with that moment’s reality. My reactions are a direct link into an empty past.

I have a tendency to not believe in myself; a belief that I will not be good enough. And the web spinner; or rather, the memory of my youth, awaits another chance to capture and devour my God given destiny to live Free.

Letting go

I sit still

I fast and pray without ceasing

Heaven and earth pause in the timelessness of endless possibilities; and I choose.

I am willing to be corrected and let that which is not benefiting my life, or rather, that which is not aligning my purpose with Gods, to be cast into the Lake of Fire – The Lake of Purification.

My alter is filled with offerings: I light beeswax candles; there is frankincense and myrrh.

It IS a Holy Moment.

The sweet and woody aroma fills the room; fills my heart; fills my prayer:

Dear Heavenly Father and Mother,

Give me strength so that I may do battle with the darkness that builds a cathedral of holographic rooms that are filled with fear and doubt. I am tired of visiting these rooms of despair where endless what if scenarios fill my day of gloom and doom.

Fear tells me: You will never be free of a childhood lost.

Love shows me: That which is of God can never be lost. You are of God. You can never be lost.

I am ready to cast my net into the ocean of Love where I allow You, Oh Lord, to teach me to be a fisher for my very own soul.

I let go

Allowing Your Goodness
To shine forth
- Though me

And I Become
A humble state of
- Awareness

Mahatma Gandhi said "You must be the change you want to see in the world."

Rumi said, "Our longing and our helplessness are the way".